The Great Light Bulb Robbery

November 2, 2009

The Great Light Bulb Robbery has been called off in Ohio due to consumer outrage.

In early October, Akron, OH-based First Energy planned to force consumers to buy two compact fluorescent lightbulbs for $21.60 — bulbs for which the utility paid only $3.50 each.

The utility then planned to charge consumers $0.60 more per month to make up for lost electricity sales due to the bulbs’ energy efficiency.

But as Akron’s WYTV reported,

After taking a huge public relations hit when it tried to force all its customers to buy energy-efficient light bulbs, First Energy is making a new proposal.

The electric company is now asking the Public Utilities Commission to approve a voluntary program so that those who don’t want or need the mini-florescent lights don’t have to pay for them.

The scam would have netted First Energy $7.6 million — more than the $7 million (in 1963 dollars) netted during the August 1963 Great Train Robbery.

Green is the 21st century term for “stand and deliver.”

One Response to “The Great Light Bulb Robbery”

  1. dublds Says:


    I grew up in Akron Ohio but eventually moved away because of the depths to which the rustbelt economy there had plummeted. So while it may be a drop in the bucket in the hyperinflated liberal bastions where these ideas are born, in Akron Ohio 2009 $21 is a substantial cost for an idea that most Akronites would call pure “hogwarsh” (that’s enough buy you 5 Galleyboys at Swensons, holla!). Given the details, I could have given First Energy a 100% guarantee that this would blow up in their face.

    There is a bigger point not to be missed here though. Despite its recent economic woes, Akron used to be one of the great industrial cities and is still home to world renowned corporations. The University of Akron boasts the worlds premier polymer science program and was one of the first institutions to photograph individual atoms. It is home to a diverse citizenry, gets four full seasons, and amazingly is within a 500 mile radius of nearly half the US population. As such Akron is the ideal and common test market for products, services, and pet government programs some never seen elsewhere. Akron is the true heartland, and as Akron goes, so goes America.

    Thus it a considerable and profound point that Akron has thoroughly rejected green eco-imperialism in it first casual encounter with it. Forget polls, the scripted mainstream media, or the ridiculous claims from the yet unseen consensus of scientists. You can take it to the bank, that as Akron has gone so will go America.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: